Carolyn Hax: we don’t wish to be my biological father’s dirty little secret

Carolyn Hax: we don’t wish to be my biological father’s dirty little secret

Adjusted from a recently available online conversation.

During the ripe age that is old of, i will be both excited and very happy to have discovered my biological dad through DNA assessment. He abandoned my mother and me personally briefly once I was created thus I do not have illusions in regards to the past. But i do want to get acquainted with him and my half-sister. He has got provided his medical background beside me, that I really appreciate.

Apart from my mom, everybody else within my family members, even my adoptive daddy, is incredibly supportive of me personally developing a relationship she doesn’t want to stand in my way with him, and even my mom says. My bio-father and we email daily and share tales of our everyday lives. He could be apologetic by what he did, reassuring that he’s delighted i came across him, etc.

My only concern is the fact that he will not inform his spouse about my presence. They’ve been both in their mid-60s as well as in a healthy body and might live a lot more years — for enough time to see my young ones have actually kids. I do not expect you’ll be instantly (or ever) invited in to the fold of the household. I do not wish or require cash from them.

I would really like to ultimately fulfill my bio-father and he states he desires that, too, but We will not be a dirty small key. The reaction from him about their spouse and child is often he does not wish to bother all of them with “this stuff.” That feels as though a dismissal, like I’m perhaps perhaps not good adequate to be provided. […]